Notes to student: I think the main reason you don't have a good grasp of what you want to highlight for the presentation is because you haven't really solidified your structure in the paper. It looks a little free-form and jumpy to me. Remember, when you go back and do the highlights that you want to practice what you're going to say so that you don't get caught up and go under the time. I felt your intro needed a lot of tightening and that your interview material could use more direct quotes. You have phrases that you take from her, but I would like to see you grab whole sentences to give the reader a real feel for her personality. Look at this and send it back to me. |
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